I have decided not to go to Ringling this year. What started as a bit of normal anxiety about my choice of major and the financial burden of attending an art school that costs upwards of 40k annually has turned into complete uncertainty. I had a conversation recently that led me to question whether this major is really something I am still completely excited about, and I'm just not sure anymore. Have you ever felt like you've been chasing a dream for so long that it might not even be what's right for you anymore? I feel I need to take some time to myself and figure out what makes me tick. I need to re-find my passion for art, for people, and for life.
I asked myself whether game art and design was the right choice for me, and I couldn't answer the question with certainty. I just can't commit to such an expensive school so far from home if I'm not positive about it. I asked myself what I DO still care about, and at the moment, the only thing in my life is music. I've got at least an album's worth of chord progressions and riffs down, so I think I will work on that for a while. I am taking a trip to Cleveland in a couple of weeks, and I plan on taking some time to iron out a couple of songs with old bandmates. My drumming is getting decent too, so it should be fun to play different instruments and work on each other's songs for a while. I want to continue writing music in my spare time, and work a second or even third job to save up money to buy a new instrument or two, and get myself moved out of my house in the next 4-6 months.
As troubled as I feel, and doubtful about my future as I may be, I think just writing this is helping me feel better already. I started this blog as a way to commit my thoughts to memory, and help myself come up with some sort of direction, and I think I'm doing just that. I hope I can get things figured out soon enough.
I know exactly what you're feeling.
ReplyDeleteFor the longest time I honestly wanted to be a journalist, and then I started college, worked for the paper and realized that journalism just wasn't my passion anymore. I dropped out of school (from lack of funds and enthusiasm) and started working. I've kind of lost sight of what exactly I'm going to do with my life so for now I'm just living each day as it comes.
I'm really excited you're starting to get into music! :) That's always something fun! Plus it's exciting!
P.S. I hope you do go to the Lydia show so we can actually meet!
Living each day as it comes... I think that's a pretty good approach to things for now. I need to be able to find some sort of passion for daily life again. Music is good. I think that will help while I perpetuate a larger change.
ReplyDeleteOh and I checked out your band! I like it! Do you guys still write stuff? You totally should. Also, I'm pretty positive I'm going to Lydia :)
We don't write anymore! Not at all. My brother started getting into a lot of 8bit stuff and Aj just writes acoustic. Meh.
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